Expectations

My momma told me to uncross my legs at the table

My daddy said don’t come home without A’s, now I’m unable

My brother says be a role model

My boyfriend asks, “Why can’t we fondle? You’re not enough.”

Don’t they know I feel that every day?

My best friend asked me to jeopardize my reputation

My boss was in a sour mood and fired me outta frustration

My dog tries to bite me

A representation of life all around me, oh I hate this

Here I hide under the covers wrapped in sleeplessness

Expectations, complications, screaming inside

Punished mistakes, try to fake a small smile

Seriously, this is too much for a child

Birds sing unpleasant songs whenever I’m out

God knows I’m terrified though I don’t know what they’re about

The lawn is a mat of spikes

I watch as other young tikes pass by skipping merrily

Why couldn’t that please be me?

A pile of papers stacks on my bed before I’m home

Everything I must complete in the given time absolutely alone

I undress in front of the mirror

The truth is so much clearer now that I can see the scars

I’m afraid to even use my heart

Expectations, complications, screaming inside

Punished mistakes, try to fake a small smile

Seriously, this is too much for a child

No time to breathe, but too much to think

What’s it like to giggle on the playground swing?

There’s someone in me who longs to be carefree

But all these expectations, complications, screaming inside

Punished mistakes, try to fake a small smile

Seriously, this is too much for a child

Too much for laughing at all

Battlefield

Double runs, load guns, I’m on the battlefield again

Fingers in my tangled hair, what the hell you starin’ at?

I’m pullin’ on the suit, bulletproof, still the scars

Are there beneath the armor of the walls around my heart

Fallin’ down as I run, get back up, keep trying

It would be so much easier to lie down and start crying

Because the ache in my chest is eating me alive, I’m dying

But to them I’m just staring at the sun and sighing

They’re drawing blades, those devils called Fate and Life

Unfair as hell but even worse ‘cause I can feel it inside

How do I numb the sting, the burns, these open wounds?

I asked myself a thousand times, if only anybody knew

Oh, here I stand on the field of Time

In the chaos of humanity

Are you an enemy of mine?

I lift my shield close to my ear

Draw my sword for your love

This is how I persevere

(I have no fear)

Blood is on the grass and on the lips of the angels

Turned bad by the ironclad, so sad, so much for miracles

Now it’s really stand alone time, crunching on less than a dime

Thought you were my bloodline, it’s clear that you’re no friend of mine

Lies, cheats, deception’s proof, they’re written on your door

I had the heart to show you mercy, don’t have the capacity anymore

Blessed devotion, where have you gone, honesty and truth?

The only innocence in this world remains a part of your youth

We become uncouth creatures, turning wild, laughter to roars

It’s not about the measure of joy we feel, just the count of death scores

All the color is fading except shades of hopeless black from the core

Of the darkest corners deep within, but please remember what you fight for

Oh, here I stand on the field of Time

In the chaos of humanity

Are you an enemy of mine?

I lift my shield close to my ear

Draw my sword for your love

This is how I persevere

(I have no fear)

How simple it’d be to sleep now

A certain heaviness lies atop my chest

I could easily let this go now

To finally get some rest

But I stay strong and live for you

Oh, here I stand on the field of Time

In the chaos of humanity

Are you an enemy of mine?

I lift my shield close to my ear

Draw my sword for your love

This is how I persevere

(I have no fear)

(Repeat x1)

I have no fear

Heartsick

The juke box is playin’ sweet, sad songs down low

I’m sittin’ in an empty bar, my heart struck with an arrow

The bartender’s refillin’ my drink talkin’ like a hyper crow

Wish I had you with me babe, that’s something you should know

And I’ve been smokin’ cigarettes despite my promise not to

So sorry, please understand, it’s so hard to live without you

Every seat across from me is a space I save for you

But all through the night I’m talking to myself like no one should do

I would never lie about missing you

Every night I die inside for you

Wish you knew I cry because I still love you

I know we’re both imperfect

But separating makes me heartsick

Now I hear no music in this world without you

It’s three o’clock in the morning and I’m not tired at all

Unless you’re counting the days I’ve waited for your phone call

It’s been over a million years, baby, why must we stall?

Is there no way that I could fix our bond like a broken ball?

Something went wrong somewhere along the road we walked

I remember holding your hands, kissing your lips while we talked

Your smile against my skin left my heart in a pleasure shock

But what struck me most is when you jaywalked

I would never lie about missing you

Every night I die inside for you

Wish you knew I cry because I still love you

I know we’re both imperfect

But separating makes me heartsick

Now I hear no music in this world without you

I don’t hear your voice, life is soundless

I don’t see your face, flowers are colorless

I don’t feel you babe, everything’s cold

And now I’m growing old alone

(Guitar)

I would never lie about missing you

Every night I die inside for you

I would never lie about missing you

Every night I die inside for you

Wish you knew I cry because I still love you

I know we’re both imperfect

But separating makes me heartsick

Now I hear no music in this world without you

(Repeat x1)

Oh, without you

Every night I die inside

Helpless

I’m hiding in the backseat of this Cadillac

Hoping you won’t see my face as you cross the street

The lights are red, my blush is too

God knows what I would say if I had the courage to speak to you

The wheels won’t move, but my heart beats

If I switch on the headlights, would we meet again

Like we did before in the department store?

Five thousand excuses to just sit here with my fear

But I still watch you with eyes full of love

And I still give you just as much as ever

I’m helpless

I guess I’m one of those things that goes unnoticed

Like a daisy in a glamorous field of fragrant tulips

Would I catch your eye just one time?

To have you look my way would leave me speechless all day

Maybe time’s not on my side or maybe it’s esteem

You’re my cloud 9, but my ability to confess is far below

Do I deserve what I don’t have the nerve for?

I would park my life in your heart if only I could start the car

But I still watch you with eyes full of love

And I still give you just as much as ever

I’m helpless

Everything’s moving fast and I’m waiting by the tracks

While you board the train of your destiny

The door’s unlocked but I can’t move

Damn it all, let me get to you

But there you go again away from me

But I still watch you with eyes full of love

And I still give you just as much as ever

 Still I watch you with eyes full of love

And still I give you just as much as ever

I’m helpless

I’m helpless

Helplessly in love with you

I’m helpless

I’m helpless

Too helpless to know what to do